Hi stress Hi stress it's off to the Library I go!

I AM SOOO STRESSED OUT!!!!!!

I know what you are thinking..."abby if you are stressed why are you writing a blog...?" Well electronic viewers let me tell you....writing helps me get it all out and then I can go back to working! Right now I am sitting in the library trying to continue the mountain of homework I have!! I just finished lip sync!! yea last time I will ever have to go to one of those practices!! It also means I get my life back so I can do school work. I know such a party college kid I am! I'm really resisting tell facebook that whoever brought me icecream to the 6th floor of the library would be my best friend via my status...So far I am succeeding but I really want some extra chocolate with some type of chunks in it, sprinkles, and a waffle cone! OOOO how that would just make my day! Alas i will sit here and imagine it and go to bed hungry lol! As you can tell I have some homework to do but it is okay cause it isn't too too bad. I just have to write a spanish paper, english paper, revise a science paper, make the science powerpoint, study for math test, and study for biology test.....but I can do it!

   I have been learning a lot this week! I realized recently that in some relationships of mine I've have been looking at them with conditions. I don't want to give my all and be that super nice person I know I would want if I know I that person isn't going to return the same in the end. HOW AWFUL!! Here I am a Christian who has been given the greatest gift ever and I can't manage to show a little bit of that love while I'm on earth! I am reminded of this constantly. I think it is one of the lessons God is really trying to show me. I am not suppose to love someone if they will love me back. That isn't love. Love isn't something you can turn on when someone is acting just the way you want them too. Love is loving them through their flaws. Looking at the hurt they cause you and trying to find God in that person still. We all mess up and we will all disappoint and hurt people and I would want that person to still love me. Therefore I must first love them. If they love me back thats awesome, if they don't that's awesome. Sure I will be hurt but that is my only job on earth. To love God first above all then to love the people HE puts in my life. So I'm trying! Feel free to help me out and send me messages of ways I could be loving or where I am being hurtful. I started the 365 love dare challenge book....I know silly right it's for married people. But see this is what I thought...I need to love God like I am married to him and I aslo need to love the people in my life. Finally I thought it might help me and my room mate! We are kinda in a marriage. So I started and it is amazing how much God shows you when you focus on one verse for a day or one specific day. Like today I was suppose to ask God to show me how to love people in a better way. It was like every corner I recognized a place I wasn't being loving or something would happen and I would want to react harshly...and there in the back of my head was that prayer. It was really refreshing!

     I recently had this thought... I want to be soo in love with God that a boy has to pretty much knock down a building to sweep me off my feet. I don't want to be so worried about finding that right person. (Not that I am) but there is always that nagging of the world that is like "what you don't have a boyfriend, you haven't been on dates in weeks, what is wrong with you"...It is soo annoying! So I really really want to be so focused, in love, and satisfied with God that a boy has to do something big to get my attention. I know I will never be who I am meant to be if I do not fully love God with all my mind, heart, soul, and strength. So here I go trying to love God more One day at a time!!