Hey Hey Hey!
By golly it has been the fastest month of my life! I really can't believe that in two days I will have been back in knoxville for 30 days! I seriously felt like I just left my house! Life has been crazy lol!! I never imagined the work load that we were going to have during our two weeks of training for RA. Seriously they had us going from 9am to 10 pm. most days! It was exhausting but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I utterly love being an RA. Seriously I could not have fathomed how much I was going to bond with my staff or how fast we would all become best friends. I love my hall director she is the sweetest, funniest, sassest, bestest boss ever!! I love my apartment although it is no where near being done! So if you ever wanna come visit please do I've got sooo much space it is ridiculous! I love being a sophomore too. It's just that much easier than being a freshman. I know more stuff I'm not freaking out about everything. I'm a lot more outgoing this semester. Last year I kept to myself and really didn't meet a lot of new people. I really want that to change this year and so far it has. I really want to do a lot with this year.
Goals for this Year:
1. Meet more people
2. Be more personable
3. Be the best RA
4. Find something to do with kids
5. Maybe do a small theater play.
6. Get all A's.
I was talking to one of my fellow RA's about this program head start that sounds like soo much fun! It is for toddlers to kindergarten and it a school for underprivileged kids. So much so that the teacher even drives the bus to pick them up and take them home. It sounds right up my alley! Now all that I have to do is find someone who would be willing to do it with me because I need transportation! Well I now am going to go walk the halls!
More to come.
Abz
Friday, August 26, 2011
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
A trantramatic 5 year old
I haven't blogged in forever because i am a stubborn 5 year old.
I'm a stubborn 5 year old in many ways. but mainly in that I through tamper fits at the thought of growing up. You know like that little girl who just recently got a new baby brother and tries to defy the idea that she can no longer drink out a bottle or steal all of mommy's attention. Thats me. It seriously is a problem and a weird one at that. What kind of person doesn't want to grow up. I've always disliked the idea of growing up. Seriously I planned my life and I had it stopping at 18. My senior year of highschool was everything I was looking forward to. I didn't even put a thought to what would happen after that it was just a black abyss. Well my senior year came and went. Just like that. Everything I'd been planning for rapidly sped past me. I was left having to make decisions on where I would go to college. I had no idea what I wanted. I never wanted to think about what would come next. the fact that I would soon no longer get to use the excuse that I was a teenager and didn't know better. Or that I wasn't going to be able to use my parents as an excuse to cop out of going to things I didn't want to go to. So I ignored the idea of what I wanted after my senior year. I picked a college that wasn't memphis cause I knew I didn't want that. To be honest I wasn't very excited. I loved the summer before freshman year at UT. It was like a heavenly limbo. I got to act like a big kid with a little more freedom yet I was still that little kid who lived at home. Then all the fun stopped and it hit me like a ton of bricks the night before I left for knoxville. I was leaving home. I wasn't going to be a daily part of my families routine. I couldn't come home with my good test grade just to get that approving smile from my mommy. No i was about to drive 6 hours away from the only city I had ever known to go to a school where I only knew a handful of people. I was going to have to suck it up be a big kid and make myself meet people. I bawled that night. While other kids were bouncing off the walls with excitement of leaving home I was clinging to every last moment of staying home. Don't get me wrong I was excited about leaving but I was terrified about the unknown. Was I going to make friends. Was school going to be really hard. Would I make good grades. Would I gain the freshman fifteen. Would I find some place where I fit in. It was a lot to mentally picture and I seemed to see it all the night before I left. I was that little 5 year old girl sitting in her bedroom with her old princess dress on not wanting to take it off for anything or anyone.
Today I'm still that little five year old girl but a little less dramatic. I love college. I love the idea of growing up. I made friends. I found a place where I fit in. School wasn't hard. I succeeded more than my expectations. It is funny how much a year can change a person. I know I'm still the same girl in many ways but I've started to be more rational about life. Sure from time to time I still freak out about growing up but I've realized that it is an adventure that shouldn't continue with kicking and screaming. I still stubbornly don't like to think about growing up henceforth the lack of blog-age. It's funny how much writing down your thoughts helps you to see the big picture and make sense of the things emotions tend to muddify. (i know lots of unreal words in this post) I find myself not writing when I don't want to think about anything. For example if I have a relationship that needs fixing and it will most likely end up taking a turn that decreases that friendship I stop writing I stop thinking about it and try and go back to being a 5 year old. A five year old who doesn't have to worry about little arguments and just continues to dance in the sun though the storm is about to come. I like being an ostrich who sticks her head in the sand in hopes that everything will just work itself out. Like if i close my eyes everything will go away because I can't see it. Yet, at some point I slowly lift my head out of the sand and notice that everything is still the same just intensified because I let time build up behind it. My daddy taught me to think and for that I am seriously extremely grateful. I really have come to understand just how much he taught me that I really just didn't grasp till now. I feel like because of my parents and the way they raised me I'm at sometimes a lot more mature than many of the people my age. Its like they cursed me with the ability to actually think through things while other freshman just live up being in college. It's a blessing and a curse but mostly just a blessing...I just can't use the excuse but I'm young and in college because my parents taught me better.
i guess i'm writing this to admit I hate growing up. I don't like making big decisions. I don't like not being a little kid anymore. That at times I wish I could go back and be that little girl who liked to steal all her parents attention. Yet, that as I grow older these things become less scary. That I'm learning and God is showing me that there is soo much more to come. That though one chapter is closed he is opening and working on a new chapter that will be more enthralling than the other. So I'm learning to love growing up. To love change. To love being the big sister who gets to come home and spoil her younger siblings. The big sister who no longer selfishly grabs at mom and dads attention but tries to be a better example. To love the idea of making it on my own.
So fellow bloggers I'm back. I will be more consistent because this year I will not ignore the big decisions. I will not ignore being a grown up. I will take my princess dress off and put it in a box to remember the chapter behind me and look forward to the chapter that is being written.
I'm a stubborn 5 year old in many ways. but mainly in that I through tamper fits at the thought of growing up. You know like that little girl who just recently got a new baby brother and tries to defy the idea that she can no longer drink out a bottle or steal all of mommy's attention. Thats me. It seriously is a problem and a weird one at that. What kind of person doesn't want to grow up. I've always disliked the idea of growing up. Seriously I planned my life and I had it stopping at 18. My senior year of highschool was everything I was looking forward to. I didn't even put a thought to what would happen after that it was just a black abyss. Well my senior year came and went. Just like that. Everything I'd been planning for rapidly sped past me. I was left having to make decisions on where I would go to college. I had no idea what I wanted. I never wanted to think about what would come next. the fact that I would soon no longer get to use the excuse that I was a teenager and didn't know better. Or that I wasn't going to be able to use my parents as an excuse to cop out of going to things I didn't want to go to. So I ignored the idea of what I wanted after my senior year. I picked a college that wasn't memphis cause I knew I didn't want that. To be honest I wasn't very excited. I loved the summer before freshman year at UT. It was like a heavenly limbo. I got to act like a big kid with a little more freedom yet I was still that little kid who lived at home. Then all the fun stopped and it hit me like a ton of bricks the night before I left for knoxville. I was leaving home. I wasn't going to be a daily part of my families routine. I couldn't come home with my good test grade just to get that approving smile from my mommy. No i was about to drive 6 hours away from the only city I had ever known to go to a school where I only knew a handful of people. I was going to have to suck it up be a big kid and make myself meet people. I bawled that night. While other kids were bouncing off the walls with excitement of leaving home I was clinging to every last moment of staying home. Don't get me wrong I was excited about leaving but I was terrified about the unknown. Was I going to make friends. Was school going to be really hard. Would I make good grades. Would I gain the freshman fifteen. Would I find some place where I fit in. It was a lot to mentally picture and I seemed to see it all the night before I left. I was that little 5 year old girl sitting in her bedroom with her old princess dress on not wanting to take it off for anything or anyone.
Today I'm still that little five year old girl but a little less dramatic. I love college. I love the idea of growing up. I made friends. I found a place where I fit in. School wasn't hard. I succeeded more than my expectations. It is funny how much a year can change a person. I know I'm still the same girl in many ways but I've started to be more rational about life. Sure from time to time I still freak out about growing up but I've realized that it is an adventure that shouldn't continue with kicking and screaming. I still stubbornly don't like to think about growing up henceforth the lack of blog-age. It's funny how much writing down your thoughts helps you to see the big picture and make sense of the things emotions tend to muddify. (i know lots of unreal words in this post) I find myself not writing when I don't want to think about anything. For example if I have a relationship that needs fixing and it will most likely end up taking a turn that decreases that friendship I stop writing I stop thinking about it and try and go back to being a 5 year old. A five year old who doesn't have to worry about little arguments and just continues to dance in the sun though the storm is about to come. I like being an ostrich who sticks her head in the sand in hopes that everything will just work itself out. Like if i close my eyes everything will go away because I can't see it. Yet, at some point I slowly lift my head out of the sand and notice that everything is still the same just intensified because I let time build up behind it. My daddy taught me to think and for that I am seriously extremely grateful. I really have come to understand just how much he taught me that I really just didn't grasp till now. I feel like because of my parents and the way they raised me I'm at sometimes a lot more mature than many of the people my age. Its like they cursed me with the ability to actually think through things while other freshman just live up being in college. It's a blessing and a curse but mostly just a blessing...I just can't use the excuse but I'm young and in college because my parents taught me better.
i guess i'm writing this to admit I hate growing up. I don't like making big decisions. I don't like not being a little kid anymore. That at times I wish I could go back and be that little girl who liked to steal all her parents attention. Yet, that as I grow older these things become less scary. That I'm learning and God is showing me that there is soo much more to come. That though one chapter is closed he is opening and working on a new chapter that will be more enthralling than the other. So I'm learning to love growing up. To love change. To love being the big sister who gets to come home and spoil her younger siblings. The big sister who no longer selfishly grabs at mom and dads attention but tries to be a better example. To love the idea of making it on my own.
So fellow bloggers I'm back. I will be more consistent because this year I will not ignore the big decisions. I will not ignore being a grown up. I will take my princess dress off and put it in a box to remember the chapter behind me and look forward to the chapter that is being written.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Freshman year in the bag
So I know I dropped off the side of the world but I am going to try and make my comeback now! So to kick off this big debut why not start off with a countdown/list of things to know for your freshman year of college!
20 things learned from freshman year:
1. No matter how good you think the cafeteria food is now you will hate it by the end of the school year.
2. The cafeteria food will kill you! You think paula dean likes butter you haven't met your college caf yet!
3. That tiny dorm room won't be that small until the last 2 months of school, then it feels like a cardboard box.
4. Freshmen boys are not smart at all. So be friends and thats it!
5. You will fight with your room mate. When that time comes remember to hear their side.
6. Try new things and get involved.
7. Get out from your old highschool crowd and make new friends.
8. Call your Mom, Dad, Sister, and Brother frequently.
9. Guard Your Heart.
10. Go to the gym and try some of their classes, they are fun!
11. Talk to a random stranger out on the lawn, on the elevator, in class.
12. STUDY!! you don't want to be stuck with a 6 year bill because you wanted to party.
13. Go to class! Teachers see that and it will HELP your grade! office hours will be your best friend!
14. 8 a.m. classes are death. I don't care if you are miss sunshine and get up at the crack of dawn in college that changes and 8'oclocks will feel like you are trying to pull yourself out of a swamp.
15. Don't always take your advisors words as the best thing. Know what you want to do and how to get there. Advisors are people too, they will mess up, besides your not their only student. They don't remember every little detail to your ideas for your life.
16. Plan ahead, Dream, and don't let anyone steal your happiness.
17. Everyone has a unique story so be slow to judge, you never know the full store from the first impression.
18. Explore your college town! Eat at the one of a kind restaurant, run by the river, visit their zoo.
19. Don't forget who you are and what you stand for.
There are a lot of voices and people that will pull you in different directions.
Listen to your voice above the rest.
20. Find what you are passionate about and chase it down.
20 things learned from freshman year:
1. No matter how good you think the cafeteria food is now you will hate it by the end of the school year.
2. The cafeteria food will kill you! You think paula dean likes butter you haven't met your college caf yet!
3. That tiny dorm room won't be that small until the last 2 months of school, then it feels like a cardboard box.
4. Freshmen boys are not smart at all. So be friends and thats it!
5. You will fight with your room mate. When that time comes remember to hear their side.
6. Try new things and get involved.
7. Get out from your old highschool crowd and make new friends.
8. Call your Mom, Dad, Sister, and Brother frequently.
9. Guard Your Heart.
10. Go to the gym and try some of their classes, they are fun!
11. Talk to a random stranger out on the lawn, on the elevator, in class.
12. STUDY!! you don't want to be stuck with a 6 year bill because you wanted to party.
13. Go to class! Teachers see that and it will HELP your grade! office hours will be your best friend!
14. 8 a.m. classes are death. I don't care if you are miss sunshine and get up at the crack of dawn in college that changes and 8'oclocks will feel like you are trying to pull yourself out of a swamp.
15. Don't always take your advisors words as the best thing. Know what you want to do and how to get there. Advisors are people too, they will mess up, besides your not their only student. They don't remember every little detail to your ideas for your life.
16. Plan ahead, Dream, and don't let anyone steal your happiness.
17. Everyone has a unique story so be slow to judge, you never know the full store from the first impression.
18. Explore your college town! Eat at the one of a kind restaurant, run by the river, visit their zoo.
19. Don't forget who you are and what you stand for.
There are a lot of voices and people that will pull you in different directions.
Listen to your voice above the rest.
20. Find what you are passionate about and chase it down.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Dominating Like A Champ
i SURVIVED my crazy week!!!
********Insert victory dance******
Last week was ROUGH but I made it through....Did I get a lot of sleep or do as well as I would have liked?..No but I tried my hardest! This week is sooo much light! Just two papers! This week also starts campaign week!! I am sooo nervous to see who is going to win. Campaign starts tomorrow and voting happens next tuesday and wednesday. I also find out about RA on monday or tuesday...So next week will either be a really really good week or could be a really really bad week. I'm hoping for a good week!!
The more I go to biology class the harder it gets to pay attention. NOt good I need to pay attentnion so i can get better grades! I am really really depressed it got SO COLD again!!!! not cool at all...It is seriously freezing cold here! like freezing! brrrrrr I hope wherever you are it is warm! I don't like the cold and I was sooo ready for summer! Ugh knoxville weather.
********Insert victory dance******
Last week was ROUGH but I made it through....Did I get a lot of sleep or do as well as I would have liked?..No but I tried my hardest! This week is sooo much light! Just two papers! This week also starts campaign week!! I am sooo nervous to see who is going to win. Campaign starts tomorrow and voting happens next tuesday and wednesday. I also find out about RA on monday or tuesday...So next week will either be a really really good week or could be a really really bad week. I'm hoping for a good week!!
The more I go to biology class the harder it gets to pay attention. NOt good I need to pay attentnion so i can get better grades! I am really really depressed it got SO COLD again!!!! not cool at all...It is seriously freezing cold here! like freezing! brrrrrr I hope wherever you are it is warm! I don't like the cold and I was sooo ready for summer! Ugh knoxville weather.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Spring Breakin
Hello,
Spring break was utterly amazing!!
God is so good and He works in the most mysterious ways!
I went on the cross trip trying to expand my horizons and meet more people. Honestly I went for selfish reasons. I wasn't thinking about the people we were going to minister. Instead I was thinking about ministering to myself. Hoping to get my name out there so that later down the road it my benefit me more. I thought really all I was going to get out of the trip was some new friends, maybe, if I was lucky. I walked away with so much more. I needed this trip more than I realized. It was a beautiful time for me to get away and just bask in God's presence. He used that time to open my eyes and heart to things about myself. To how I was doing with friends in college...and how I was doing with him. I realized how much I missed being in a community like the one we formed on the trip. It was so nice to worship every night and then spend the whole day just serving. The church we stayed at had the prettiest prayer chapel. It was in between two lakes and the building had windows all around it. Inside there was chairs all circled around this huge cross with an alter beneath it. It was breath taking to go up there at sunset and just spend hours praying and just reflecting on His beauty.
During the day we worked on 8 different houses doing various tasks such as painting, roofing, new screen doors, yard work..etc. It was hard work some days but it was fun! I learned how to do some roofing lol. We also had projects out at the boys and girls club and a homeless shelter and the toy shop!. Then at night we would have dinner at a different church every night and then head back to the church for worship and small group time. I got so close to my small group. It is funny how you can get to know such a small group of people so quickly. I'm glad God placed margaret into my life to place the seed of going on this trip in my brain. It really was what I needed and then some.
This week is utterly ridiculous!! I gots 2 papers, 3 exams, 1 quiz, 1 project, and 1 lab report! Yet, as I sit back and carefully plan my days out it is getting less stressful and easier to deal with. I'm making my way through this week and this time next week I am going to be happy!! Well thats an update from the life of abby...no pictures because of this silly new facebook picture thing :/
Spring break was utterly amazing!!
God is so good and He works in the most mysterious ways!
I went on the cross trip trying to expand my horizons and meet more people. Honestly I went for selfish reasons. I wasn't thinking about the people we were going to minister. Instead I was thinking about ministering to myself. Hoping to get my name out there so that later down the road it my benefit me more. I thought really all I was going to get out of the trip was some new friends, maybe, if I was lucky. I walked away with so much more. I needed this trip more than I realized. It was a beautiful time for me to get away and just bask in God's presence. He used that time to open my eyes and heart to things about myself. To how I was doing with friends in college...and how I was doing with him. I realized how much I missed being in a community like the one we formed on the trip. It was so nice to worship every night and then spend the whole day just serving. The church we stayed at had the prettiest prayer chapel. It was in between two lakes and the building had windows all around it. Inside there was chairs all circled around this huge cross with an alter beneath it. It was breath taking to go up there at sunset and just spend hours praying and just reflecting on His beauty.
During the day we worked on 8 different houses doing various tasks such as painting, roofing, new screen doors, yard work..etc. It was hard work some days but it was fun! I learned how to do some roofing lol. We also had projects out at the boys and girls club and a homeless shelter and the toy shop!. Then at night we would have dinner at a different church every night and then head back to the church for worship and small group time. I got so close to my small group. It is funny how you can get to know such a small group of people so quickly. I'm glad God placed margaret into my life to place the seed of going on this trip in my brain. It really was what I needed and then some.
This week is utterly ridiculous!! I gots 2 papers, 3 exams, 1 quiz, 1 project, and 1 lab report! Yet, as I sit back and carefully plan my days out it is getting less stressful and easier to deal with. I'm making my way through this week and this time next week I am going to be happy!! Well thats an update from the life of abby...no pictures because of this silly new facebook picture thing :/
Thursday, March 10, 2011
I LOVE MY FAMILY!!
If you haven't caught on by now, I'm sorry, but I AM UTTERLY IN LOVE WITH MY FAMILY!! Seriously I wouldn't trade them for anything. I have the best parents in the whole wide world! It surprises me every day how well they did in raising me. Seriously, mom dad, you guys knew what you were doing lol. Its soo annoying I'm realizing that all those rules I hate..I now love that I learned them. It's funny how you don't realize what those rules are for when you have them but once they are gone you love them! I have the best little sisters any girl could ask for! Seriously they are all so unique and different but we all have the best times together! My brothers aren't to bad either! I love having a big family! I have had so many different experiencing that many other people will never get to experience and all I had to do was be born into it! :D!! I love you family!!
It has been raining NON stop!! I legit don't have hair I just have a head of frizz...I don't think there is a defined curl on my head right now! It really isn't cool at all! One more day till Spring break!! Where I will hopefully be friendly and making myself meet tons of new people! I hope you are having a great day and If not make it better!!!
It has been raining NON stop!! I legit don't have hair I just have a head of frizz...I don't think there is a defined curl on my head right now! It really isn't cool at all! One more day till Spring break!! Where I will hopefully be friendly and making myself meet tons of new people! I hope you are having a great day and If not make it better!!!
Monday, March 7, 2011
Dance for yourself, if someone understands good. If not then no matter, go right on doing what you love.
Hewwwwooooooo!!!
So this weekend was crazy!! It was boxing weekend, which is where the frats have at in a boxing tournament. All the proceeds' go to charity who would've guessed, violence=charity :/? Anyways, it's a pretty big deal and people from all over come out. Seriously I feel like half my graduated class came up here. So I really didn't sleep much lol. I also participated in the Library Fun Run with Freshman council this weekend. Although it was at 630 in the morning I had a lot of fun! I got to say "On your mark, Get set, GO" and shoot a gun! Then me and courtney made up a nice little cheer to yell at the runners as they passed by! It went something like "go runners, Go Runners, its your fun run".... I know aren't we such clever little princesses!
So that was the weekend....This week is a really light week for me...I feel like everyone else is dying from their midterms but I fortunately am not all! So hopefully I can catch up on some sleep and prepare for next week! I'm really nervous about the cross trip. I know I shouldn't be and I know that everything is going to work out like it is suppose too...BUT i'm nervous. I am trying to give it over and be at peace with it. I was beginning to really regret my decision cause I wanted to go home and honestly the beach would be soo much more comfortable for me. I realize thats why I am so scared of the cross trip, it's not my comfort zone at all. I am placing myself in an environment where I really don't know that many people at all....and I don't do well with that at all. I love meeting new people, but the initial putting yourself out there is always the hardest part. Alas, I really think this week is going to be good for me. So i'm getting excited. I think me and Amber are going to go to goodwill and get some fun shirts that we can get all dirty!!
I miss the family but I will try and sneak home and see them soon. Now I shall tackle some more homework. Remember that God has created you with a purpose. Don't miss out on the life He has given you. So go out and dance!
So this weekend was crazy!! It was boxing weekend, which is where the frats have at in a boxing tournament. All the proceeds' go to charity who would've guessed, violence=charity :/? Anyways, it's a pretty big deal and people from all over come out. Seriously I feel like half my graduated class came up here. So I really didn't sleep much lol. I also participated in the Library Fun Run with Freshman council this weekend. Although it was at 630 in the morning I had a lot of fun! I got to say "On your mark, Get set, GO" and shoot a gun! Then me and courtney made up a nice little cheer to yell at the runners as they passed by! It went something like "go runners, Go Runners, its your fun run".... I know aren't we such clever little princesses!
So that was the weekend....This week is a really light week for me...I feel like everyone else is dying from their midterms but I fortunately am not all! So hopefully I can catch up on some sleep and prepare for next week! I'm really nervous about the cross trip. I know I shouldn't be and I know that everything is going to work out like it is suppose too...BUT i'm nervous. I am trying to give it over and be at peace with it. I was beginning to really regret my decision cause I wanted to go home and honestly the beach would be soo much more comfortable for me. I realize thats why I am so scared of the cross trip, it's not my comfort zone at all. I am placing myself in an environment where I really don't know that many people at all....and I don't do well with that at all. I love meeting new people, but the initial putting yourself out there is always the hardest part. Alas, I really think this week is going to be good for me. So i'm getting excited. I think me and Amber are going to go to goodwill and get some fun shirts that we can get all dirty!!
I miss the family but I will try and sneak home and see them soon. Now I shall tackle some more homework. Remember that God has created you with a purpose. Don't miss out on the life He has given you. So go out and dance!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Home is where your heart is
Missin' Me Some Memphis!
Awww Hey Diaper Bestie!
 |
| Can't leave out Jackson Either!! |
Well If it isn't obvious...I'm getting homesick :(! It has been 54 days since I was in the 901. I'm feeling it.... And yet I signed up to go on a mission trip over spring break instead of seeing the fam....But I'm learning to grow up and as my wonderful daddy said tonight. Growing up has growing pains but butterflies sure are pretty and they can FLY!! So I'm trying to learn to handle it on my own but boy do I sure miss home!
I miss ya Mom, Dad, Lizzie, Anna, Emma, Peter, Aidan, AND Thomas.....
Miss me too!
Monday, February 28, 2011
Boots + Owls + Puddles = !!OWL RAIN BOOTS!!
It is Monsooning outside!
I had a glorious weekend! I kinda had a cold so i literally just slept all weekend! It was some much needed sleep yet I really wasn't productive and didn't study as much as I should have for my psyc test :(... I feel like I have really been slacking in studying recently...Which is soo bad I need to get my life back in order! I Love the rain but today it is not raining it is flooding! Seriously it is impossible to stay dry! It really makes me want to curl up in my bed and take a nap! Which for the first time in a long while I actually could if I wanted too. But I am making myself be somewhat productive and working out! Spring break is right around the corner. Which I am soo indecisive about...well I'm always indecisive but seriously I can't make up my mind. Recently though I am really leaning to going on the Cross trip. It would be a great service project and also allow me to meet a lot of people and get more involved. I'm realizing that Chi O would be so much better with a best friend in it with me.
Which leads me a really controversial subject of college: Drinking.
It is weird to be around something so much that is illegal for the majority of the people doing it. It gets really confusing on what is right and wrong. Well not really it just makes sticking to what is right harder when everyone around you is drinking. Now I am not a fan of drinking when it is legal either. I just don't like it. Never have. Part of that is how I raised and the rest is from my own experiences with it. Not that I can say I have personally experienced the effects of alcohol but i've seen the effects on those close to me. So for those of you experiencing the same thing or anticipating going to college. It's hard. It's not fun being one of the few that doesn't drink. I'm not going to lie. It gets really weary after a while. You can't ever be in the big circle of "Cool" people just because you won't have that to bond over with them. It makes sense. I'm not going to be besties with people who party 24/7 because I'm not like that. But just realize when you come to college, not drinking will set you apart. Not that I am encouraging you to give up now and just give in to drinking because everyone else is. I just wanted to get off my chest how much of a struggle it really is. It really isn't a struggle of drinking or not for me. Like I could never touch an alcoholic beverage and be fine for the rest of my life. Its more of a struggle of not being as accepted as easily as many people around me. It is almost like I have to work harder for people to like me just because its almost like an automatic turn away because i guess they feel like you will judge or feel uncomfortable around them. I promise I will never judge someone for their decisions on drinking or not. I'm just here to spread the Love of my Christ and Savior. Not spread condemnation.
Such a random speal I know....I haven't been doing the best of spreading the love of my Savior. I feel like recently I've stepped into that mediocrity routine that I get caught up in so many times. I don't like it and I am trying to change it! I joined a bible study and I really enjoy it. We are reading a book called "the me I want to be". It is about becoming the best person God made you to be. It is really good and I encourage you to read it!
Well, I'm going to go do some yoga with some RUF girls and try and branch out more to the people around me. Say a prayer for me that I continue to become the person God wants me to be. That I stop and listen to His quiet voice. Finally that I continue to force myself to meet more people.
xoxo
Saturday, February 26, 2011
"Chase down your Passion Like it is the Last bus of the Night"
Oh My where to even begin!
This is the DTD date party! The theme was "I'm Glad I'm Not..." Me and my date Walker went as nerd, obviously! It was a whole lot of fun! I finally achieved my goal of being asked to a date party. But honestly I'm good now. Not that I don't like date parties, I love them. It is just now I understand why I am not first choice on getting invited to them...Let's just say I am not your typically sorority girl...
Aren't we such cute little nerds!
<---- I love this picture! That is me and Aaron Bush, he is pretty much my bffl guy friend here at UT. It is just an epic picture!
Taylor, Paige, and I went hiking last weekend. It was soo amazing! Look at that view! I love being this close to the mountains and when it starts getting cooler I am seriously going hiking every weekend! It was just so refreshing to walk in the mountains and then have a sweet little bible study when we got to the top. I really want to climb the chimney tops before march is over! I am so thankful for the friends God has placed into my life. They are such a blessing!
Second semester has been soo crazy! I can't believe it is almost march already and in two weeks is spring break, and that means half of the semester is over! First year of college flying bye!! The past like what two months that I haven't written have been crazy! Filled with tons of school work, working with the best campaign REACH!, freshman council, A billion interviews, RA class, Chi O, and social functions! Since I'm so far behind how about some pictures to catch you up...They do say A picture is worth a thousand words right...
 |
| Just chilling with some Chi O sistas!!! |
<---- I love this picture! That is me and Aaron Bush, he is pretty much my bffl guy friend here at UT. It is just an epic picture!
Taylor, Paige, and I went hiking last weekend. It was soo amazing! Look at that view! I love being this close to the mountains and when it starts getting cooler I am seriously going hiking every weekend! It was just so refreshing to walk in the mountains and then have a sweet little bible study when we got to the top. I really want to climb the chimney tops before march is over! I am so thankful for the friends God has placed into my life. They are such a blessing!
I made it to the RA class!! Which means I will hopefully, most likely be an RA next year! I am sooo excited and really nervous at the same time. It would be such a blessing and fun opportunity to be an RA. So keep the prayers coming and your fingers crossed.
Okay it is another gorgeous saturday afternoon in Knoxville so I am going to go out and interact with the world! I promise to try and keep up better next week!
xoxo
Sunday, February 20, 2011
You've Got A Friend In Me
Wow! I'm sorry I haven't wanted to write in a while.
You know when you have a lot on your mind and you just don't want to write...Well actually a lot of people like to write when they have a lot on their mind. But I personally don't try and think about things when I have a lot to think about. I like to avoid it so I don't write lol. Also i have been sooooo busy!! It has been ridiculous...two date parties...campaign retreat...campaign in general...hiking...tons of school work...lack of sleep!
It HAS BEEN A CRAZY 2 WEEKS!!!
But I don't have time to write you a long message about everything that has been going on. but Im still alive and I am really doing well! Loving everything!
Will write soon,
xoxo
You know when you have a lot on your mind and you just don't want to write...Well actually a lot of people like to write when they have a lot on their mind. But I personally don't try and think about things when I have a lot to think about. I like to avoid it so I don't write lol. Also i have been sooooo busy!! It has been ridiculous...two date parties...campaign retreat...campaign in general...hiking...tons of school work...lack of sleep!
It HAS BEEN A CRAZY 2 WEEKS!!!
But I don't have time to write you a long message about everything that has been going on. but Im still alive and I am really doing well! Loving everything!
Will write soon,
xoxo
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Wherever you go, whatever the weather always bring your own sunshine!
Hello,
So catch up time!!! Well two weekends ago my parents came up to seee me!!! I got initiated into Chi Omega Fraternity so they were coming for the festivities!! It was soo much fun I got to have two sleep overs and go shopping and eat good food! I also got to hang out with my awesome mommy and daddy! Seriously rest of the world you should be jealous of my parents! :D! Initiation was soo much fun it made me fall in love with Chi o all over again! We just have awesome founding sisters and the best motto's ever! I love how I am part of a sorority that has a devotion every week and we pray Dear Jesus, in every prayer! I am soo blessed for the women God has given me at college! I love love my big she is sooo sweet!! Besides that I have been waaay busy with school, chi o , and sga....oh and the gazillion interviews I am going through right now! I have my first group interview for RA tomorrow so pray that I do well! I have made to the 3rd round of SAA!! AHHHH I am sooo excited keeping my fingers crossed though! The finally interview will be on next wednesday. Haven't really read any good books lately lol...I really haven't read anything that isn't related to school. It was soo hot last weekend and it was wonderful! Now it is 22 degrees with a huge wind chill! It is NOT cool! Today I had on three layers of coats lol. This weekend holds RA interviews and campaign retreat! woo hoo! Of course the super bowl lol. Actually I most likely won't watch it. The other day I tried to act like I knew what I was talking about and utterly failed! I told myself just say no abby, but no i thought i had it....Needless to say the guy laughed at me. OH well. Tonight is DTD's date party!! I got asked lol. Not going to lie I was soo excited cause since last semester I have wanted to be asked to a date party! It was getting pretty sad when I was invited ever but then I realized it's cause I don't drink and let's face it there is a very small percentage of frat boys who don't drink. So why would they take sober sally lol. So now that I've been asked I can check that off my list! The theme is "I'm glad I'm not..." and me and my date, Walker, are going as nerds! I will bring pictures later hopefully all will go well! well I am off to napping or working out....We will see wich one I choose lol.
xoxo
So catch up time!!! Well two weekends ago my parents came up to seee me!!! I got initiated into Chi Omega Fraternity so they were coming for the festivities!! It was soo much fun I got to have two sleep overs and go shopping and eat good food! I also got to hang out with my awesome mommy and daddy! Seriously rest of the world you should be jealous of my parents! :D! Initiation was soo much fun it made me fall in love with Chi o all over again! We just have awesome founding sisters and the best motto's ever! I love how I am part of a sorority that has a devotion every week and we pray Dear Jesus, in every prayer! I am soo blessed for the women God has given me at college! I love love my big she is sooo sweet!! Besides that I have been waaay busy with school, chi o , and sga....oh and the gazillion interviews I am going through right now! I have my first group interview for RA tomorrow so pray that I do well! I have made to the 3rd round of SAA!! AHHHH I am sooo excited keeping my fingers crossed though! The finally interview will be on next wednesday. Haven't really read any good books lately lol...I really haven't read anything that isn't related to school. It was soo hot last weekend and it was wonderful! Now it is 22 degrees with a huge wind chill! It is NOT cool! Today I had on three layers of coats lol. This weekend holds RA interviews and campaign retreat! woo hoo! Of course the super bowl lol. Actually I most likely won't watch it. The other day I tried to act like I knew what I was talking about and utterly failed! I told myself just say no abby, but no i thought i had it....Needless to say the guy laughed at me. OH well. Tonight is DTD's date party!! I got asked lol. Not going to lie I was soo excited cause since last semester I have wanted to be asked to a date party! It was getting pretty sad when I was invited ever but then I realized it's cause I don't drink and let's face it there is a very small percentage of frat boys who don't drink. So why would they take sober sally lol. So now that I've been asked I can check that off my list! The theme is "I'm glad I'm not..." and me and my date, Walker, are going as nerds! I will bring pictures later hopefully all will go well! well I am off to napping or working out....We will see wich one I choose lol.
xoxo
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Pain
have you ever noticed that you can never fathom what kind of pain another person is in? Even if just two hours ago you were in the exact same pain! It is amazing to me how self centered humans really are. To us no one else has ever felt our kind of pain and anyone else's pain they can easily get over. Sure there are those rare cases where we can't begin to imagine what they must be going through, but still we give them a time period to get over it. We don't want to listen to their drawn out sob story... that would take to much time away from ours. I think girls are especially bad about this..even with something as simple as our period...we are like girl suck it up i've been there! Pain just is soooooo weird to me! We don't like to focus on it, we don't know what to do with it, we minimize it, we ignore it, we dramatize it..... So today listen to someones long story about how much pain they are in...even if you heard the same thing last week!
For The Good Of Others
How do you do something completely for someone else?
I don't know if as a selfish human being there is ever a time when I will ever do something for someone only for them. It kills me because I always want to try and do something for someone else without expecting anything in the end. Yet, without fail every time somewhere subconsciously I am doing it for me. I am nice because I want them to be nice to me in return. I befriend someone because I want to be friends with them. I go the extra mile because I think I would want that to happen to me. I spend money on others because I assume in some way I will maybe one day receive the same kindness. In some way I am receiving something from every action I do. Even if that action is just me getting satisfaction of thinking I helped someone that day. It is like a never ending cycle.
World I am a selfish person and I will forever be this way.
Abby.
I don't know if as a selfish human being there is ever a time when I will ever do something for someone only for them. It kills me because I always want to try and do something for someone else without expecting anything in the end. Yet, without fail every time somewhere subconsciously I am doing it for me. I am nice because I want them to be nice to me in return. I befriend someone because I want to be friends with them. I go the extra mile because I think I would want that to happen to me. I spend money on others because I assume in some way I will maybe one day receive the same kindness. In some way I am receiving something from every action I do. Even if that action is just me getting satisfaction of thinking I helped someone that day. It is like a never ending cycle.
World I am a selfish person and I will forever be this way.
Abby.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
A bend in the road is not the end of the road... unless you fail to make the turn.
Today.....Not as good of a day.
It's cause I didn't see any kids!! Instead I dealt with politics...gross!!
Haha I think it's funny how much I get involved with political things when I really don't like politics..Trying to be that well rounded person lol. But seriously me and my friend were talking about it and she was like "you are going to be a politician one day and I will be sitting here telling people you hate it". Well friend if that ever happens I assure you I am only doing it for the philanthropy aspects lol :).
These few days have been pretty stressful and lacking in sleep! It's been a combination of school, chi o, and sga....but I will sleep this weekend! I am getting initiated tomorrow to Chi Omega! AHHH I be very very scared lol but my mommy and daddy are coming to see me!!! :D I am soo excited!
Have you ever been tired of yourself?
I have.
In fact it is one of my problems....
I really have begun to resent how nice I am...
How ironic right.
It's just well nice people don't make it in our world today.
I feel like I live in Darwin's law of natural selection and I am getting killed off.
Maybe I just take things way to personally but not gonna lie it seems like I am always getting taken advantage of or taken for granted. Even when I go about trying to not make that happen. And there isn't anything I can do to change that. I am who I am. I can't be mean it eats me alive and takes away my joy. I live to see other people smile. Not that I don't look out for myself but I guess I never want to step on toes if it is unnecessary.
Ugh its just one of those depressing nights. You know them. We all have them.
I wore a cute outfit today! Or an outfit I am proud of...you can decide if its cute lol. but goodness, I bought these new heels...UGH they are killers!! I am usually really good at walking in heels like seriously haven't found a pair I have that I can't run in! UNTIl NOW! I can't even walk in these shoes!! They are death for realz...If you ever have the pleasure of watching me walk in them you are going to laugh lol. but needless to say I wore them for about 5 hours. I was laughed, snickered, and talked about because of them lol. I also have some really pretty blisters!! Oh what girls do right!
Well it is time to go to bed!
God is good and he can sustain you through any bad day. I know I've had them!
Trust on Him with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings.
Abz
It's cause I didn't see any kids!! Instead I dealt with politics...gross!!
Haha I think it's funny how much I get involved with political things when I really don't like politics..Trying to be that well rounded person lol. But seriously me and my friend were talking about it and she was like "you are going to be a politician one day and I will be sitting here telling people you hate it". Well friend if that ever happens I assure you I am only doing it for the philanthropy aspects lol :).
These few days have been pretty stressful and lacking in sleep! It's been a combination of school, chi o, and sga....but I will sleep this weekend! I am getting initiated tomorrow to Chi Omega! AHHH I be very very scared lol but my mommy and daddy are coming to see me!!! :D I am soo excited!
Have you ever been tired of yourself?
I have.
In fact it is one of my problems....
I really have begun to resent how nice I am...
How ironic right.
It's just well nice people don't make it in our world today.
I feel like I live in Darwin's law of natural selection and I am getting killed off.
Maybe I just take things way to personally but not gonna lie it seems like I am always getting taken advantage of or taken for granted. Even when I go about trying to not make that happen. And there isn't anything I can do to change that. I am who I am. I can't be mean it eats me alive and takes away my joy. I live to see other people smile. Not that I don't look out for myself but I guess I never want to step on toes if it is unnecessary.
Ugh its just one of those depressing nights. You know them. We all have them.
I wore a cute outfit today! Or an outfit I am proud of...you can decide if its cute lol. but goodness, I bought these new heels...UGH they are killers!! I am usually really good at walking in heels like seriously haven't found a pair I have that I can't run in! UNTIl NOW! I can't even walk in these shoes!! They are death for realz...If you ever have the pleasure of watching me walk in them you are going to laugh lol. but needless to say I wore them for about 5 hours. I was laughed, snickered, and talked about because of them lol. I also have some really pretty blisters!! Oh what girls do right!
Well it is time to go to bed!
God is good and he can sustain you through any bad day. I know I've had them!
Trust on Him with all your heart and lean not on your own understandings.
Abz
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
"I have a kid!!!!"
Today I got to go to soar! It is a program run by a church in a project neighborhood and they help teach kids to read! So what I get to do every week is go and teach a little kid how to read to hopefully improve their reading skills! I heard about it at RUF on tuesday night! You have no idea how excited I got! I legit had this crazy huge smile plastered on my face! Then when I got confirmed that I could do it, I literally jumped for joy and started singing/screaming that I had a kid! I called my friend taylor giddy of course she doesn't quite understand and said it sounded more like a headache than a celebration. I was really missing kids and when I got back on campus. Cause honestly they are where my heart is and I know I am suppose to be doing something with them for the rest of my life. I don't care that I won't make any money, kids are my passion. Since they are my passion I will stop at nothing to interact with them! I will dedicate a post to why I love kids so much and think they are so important but tonight I am tired and I think that subject deserves it's own post! Anywho, I got to go to soar today! I read with marie. She was kinda shy and quiet but her reading got better at the end of the hour and a half! I was soo proud of her. It truly is amazing how much being around kids brightens my day! Sure they are kind of exhausting but its a good kind of exhausting. They make any stress go away. AHHHHH I loved it! I also loved thinking I am helping these precious little children better their reading skills which will help them all around in life! I can't wait to go back! I can't believe I get to do this! I really need to ask my mom to bring me a copy of her phonics stuff though I can't remember all the tricky rules to explain hard vowel sounds! I will be horribly poor one day.....and you know what I don't care I will be rich in so many other ways!!
Go find your passion!
Go find your passion!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Ode to Dad
Dear Daddy,
Thank you for all those years of "boy training". I am finally started to grasp better what you were trying to teach me all those years! You would be proud of me I am playing the game pretty well now. I've gotten better at making d'em puppies with a disease keep their feet on their toes! I really value what you taught me. Though I will admit I didn't quite understand in middle school and even highschool but as I get older I'm seeing everything make more sense. Not going to lie it kinda stunk to have my fairy tale prince charming dreams crushed but you helped me see reality! I can stand on my own two feet now and not be swept away by boys who are just playing the part. I know I didn't really appreciate your advice as much as I should have in high school. I'm so glad you taught me the things you did. You were right with your biggest worry for me when I went off to college. I didn't see how that was possible back then. But looking back you were reading me like a book! I thank God I didn't meet someone who would have swayed my mind to change my plans. Yet, I thank Him even more that He gave me a daddy who taught me not to be lead to change my plans and hopes for a boy. Dad, you taught me to be my own person and not to focus on boys. You taught me how to not give in and how to think on my own. I know I haven't come close to mastering much in the boy area of my life but because of you I'm doing fine. Thanks for not spoiling me with a fantasy dream of a prince charming. Thanks for loving my mom and living out the perfect example of what my husband should look like. Thanks for teaching me right from wrong. You are doing a great job dad. Your wise and godly. I know us kids don't always get what you are saying or agree with you, but dad, your making a difference. You are making us the people we are suppose to be. You made me a better person. Your other kids are gonna realize it too someday dad. I think you would be proud to see how I have learned to not give in to boys! You've taught me so much more than just boy stuff but thought I'd just hit on one of your great lessons! Thanks for being the best dad ever!
Your Abby
Thank you for all those years of "boy training". I am finally started to grasp better what you were trying to teach me all those years! You would be proud of me I am playing the game pretty well now. I've gotten better at making d'em puppies with a disease keep their feet on their toes! I really value what you taught me. Though I will admit I didn't quite understand in middle school and even highschool but as I get older I'm seeing everything make more sense. Not going to lie it kinda stunk to have my fairy tale prince charming dreams crushed but you helped me see reality! I can stand on my own two feet now and not be swept away by boys who are just playing the part. I know I didn't really appreciate your advice as much as I should have in high school. I'm so glad you taught me the things you did. You were right with your biggest worry for me when I went off to college. I didn't see how that was possible back then. But looking back you were reading me like a book! I thank God I didn't meet someone who would have swayed my mind to change my plans. Yet, I thank Him even more that He gave me a daddy who taught me not to be lead to change my plans and hopes for a boy. Dad, you taught me to be my own person and not to focus on boys. You taught me how to not give in and how to think on my own. I know I haven't come close to mastering much in the boy area of my life but because of you I'm doing fine. Thanks for not spoiling me with a fantasy dream of a prince charming. Thanks for loving my mom and living out the perfect example of what my husband should look like. Thanks for teaching me right from wrong. You are doing a great job dad. Your wise and godly. I know us kids don't always get what you are saying or agree with you, but dad, your making a difference. You are making us the people we are suppose to be. You made me a better person. Your other kids are gonna realize it too someday dad. I think you would be proud to see how I have learned to not give in to boys! You've taught me so much more than just boy stuff but thought I'd just hit on one of your great lessons! Thanks for being the best dad ever!
Your Abby
Monday, January 17, 2011
Life is a Black hole, So jump in!
You know what I've been curiously contemplating and discussing?
-----Pain-------
What do you do with pain?
How do you handle it?
Personally I have 2 ways I usually handle my pain. One way I deal with pain is by ignoring it. I don't face the situation, instead I bottle it up and store it somewhere far away, out of site. Then every six months or more it resurfaces and I'm a blubbering idiot. It isn't a very good method because I don't actually get over the pain I just keep hiding it only making it bigger. The second way I deal with pain is I turn it around on myself. I see where I went wrong and I blame myself for the whole thing. Then I punish myself and send myself on a quest to be a better person. In the end all I am is really discouraged and left believing the lies I say about myself. So I started thinking about what would be a better method than the two I always do. It made me realize how strange pain is. You can't make it disappear. Emotional pain isn't the same as physical pain it doesn't just go away after months of recovery. Instead emotional pain is almost always there with that dull reminder of what happened. You always remember the hurtful words or actions. Even when you truly forgive and give up those hurtful times you can never quite forget them. I've realized that the best thing to do is to first give the Pain over to our heavenly Father. Then you can look at the situation realize what went wrong, where you and the other party went wrong. You then try and make your side right. What I don't think I should do anymore is forget the good times. Almost always when I get hurt by a friend I hold the bad times against them and I use that to heal myself. I try and burn all of the good memories and just remember the bad feeding that pain and bitterness. That isn't right. I really think you need to realize that there were good times and life happens. I need to forgive and forget the hurtful memories rather than hold onto them. They don't make me feel better. Yet, I don't think focusing on the good times will cure the pain, honestly only time is going to do that. But by seeing the good times you can say yes we had good memories and they have made me a better person. I believe the best way is to look at the situation and realize that there is a plan for the hurt that happened and though maybe it wasn't suppose to happen like that but it did; and because it did there will be something good out of it. God says he works all things out for our good. This means even through our stupid mistakes God is able to repair our broken lives. Of course their must be repentance but just because of mistakes doesn't mean God can't still work in my life or yours. So I think that is how I will deal with pain. I am going through all the times when those close to me have hurt me and realizing that there is a greater plan than I can see. So I guess I'm finally letting those hurtful words said against me go. I'm finally officially forgiving the things said against me and I'm moving on. I am not letting myself be trapped by the pain in my past. I'm not holding onto the past mistakes I have made. I can't be used in others lives if I am to scared to get close to people. I don't want to get close until I let go of this pain I have been desperately clinging too. I have to give up my hopes of those events being erased and realize that I am now in a new place and I need to grow these new relationships. So I am saying goodbye to all the pain I have held.
I know this is most likely boring to you all but it's so freeing to actually have gone through my thought closet and removed those boxes of painful pictures. I feel like I'm getting the spark back in my eyes that I had when I was younger. Yes people are going to disappoint me but that doesn't mean I give up on people that I haven't met yet. Things won't always be as you have planned....but that means things will only be better!
So hasta la vista pain!!
I hope you can let go of your own hurtful memories that have been holding you back! There is sooo much more in life don't waste it by remembering the past!
Live. Laugh. Love
-----Pain-------
What do you do with pain?
How do you handle it?
Personally I have 2 ways I usually handle my pain. One way I deal with pain is by ignoring it. I don't face the situation, instead I bottle it up and store it somewhere far away, out of site. Then every six months or more it resurfaces and I'm a blubbering idiot. It isn't a very good method because I don't actually get over the pain I just keep hiding it only making it bigger. The second way I deal with pain is I turn it around on myself. I see where I went wrong and I blame myself for the whole thing. Then I punish myself and send myself on a quest to be a better person. In the end all I am is really discouraged and left believing the lies I say about myself. So I started thinking about what would be a better method than the two I always do. It made me realize how strange pain is. You can't make it disappear. Emotional pain isn't the same as physical pain it doesn't just go away after months of recovery. Instead emotional pain is almost always there with that dull reminder of what happened. You always remember the hurtful words or actions. Even when you truly forgive and give up those hurtful times you can never quite forget them. I've realized that the best thing to do is to first give the Pain over to our heavenly Father. Then you can look at the situation realize what went wrong, where you and the other party went wrong. You then try and make your side right. What I don't think I should do anymore is forget the good times. Almost always when I get hurt by a friend I hold the bad times against them and I use that to heal myself. I try and burn all of the good memories and just remember the bad feeding that pain and bitterness. That isn't right. I really think you need to realize that there were good times and life happens. I need to forgive and forget the hurtful memories rather than hold onto them. They don't make me feel better. Yet, I don't think focusing on the good times will cure the pain, honestly only time is going to do that. But by seeing the good times you can say yes we had good memories and they have made me a better person. I believe the best way is to look at the situation and realize that there is a plan for the hurt that happened and though maybe it wasn't suppose to happen like that but it did; and because it did there will be something good out of it. God says he works all things out for our good. This means even through our stupid mistakes God is able to repair our broken lives. Of course their must be repentance but just because of mistakes doesn't mean God can't still work in my life or yours. So I think that is how I will deal with pain. I am going through all the times when those close to me have hurt me and realizing that there is a greater plan than I can see. So I guess I'm finally letting those hurtful words said against me go. I'm finally officially forgiving the things said against me and I'm moving on. I am not letting myself be trapped by the pain in my past. I'm not holding onto the past mistakes I have made. I can't be used in others lives if I am to scared to get close to people. I don't want to get close until I let go of this pain I have been desperately clinging too. I have to give up my hopes of those events being erased and realize that I am now in a new place and I need to grow these new relationships. So I am saying goodbye to all the pain I have held.
I know this is most likely boring to you all but it's so freeing to actually have gone through my thought closet and removed those boxes of painful pictures. I feel like I'm getting the spark back in my eyes that I had when I was younger. Yes people are going to disappoint me but that doesn't mean I give up on people that I haven't met yet. Things won't always be as you have planned....but that means things will only be better!
So hasta la vista pain!!
I hope you can let go of your own hurtful memories that have been holding you back! There is sooo much more in life don't waste it by remembering the past!
Live. Laugh. Love
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Round 2!!
So I started writing a post the other day and goodness it was CRAZY!! I was really hyper so literally it was all over the place. So I didn't post it for your sanity or maybe in hopes to save some of mine! Second semester is going really well! I have been here for a week and I am already back into college days. I promise you one college day is 3 normal days! It feels like I have been here way longer than a week! First week activities have included playing in the snow, a couple dates :), finding classes, going to class, hanging out 24/7 with taylor, game day, basketball, and tons of gym time!
I love my classes this semester! My english class is on Fairy Tales!! How awesome is that! Our major book is confessions of an ugly stepsister! It will most definitely be my favorite class! I am also taking psychology and the teacher is really cool and nice. Then I have bio 102 and Geography hopefully! Not to bad of a semester I started out with 14 hours and hopefully I am going to end up with 18...wow I know big leap lol. BUT I can't take only have 2 classes a day! I feel like such an under achiever. Yet, it took me forever to find the geography class which I am not technically in yet, crossing my fingers! I was thinking maybe I don't have a lot of hours for a reason? Maybe I will have something important happen this semester that will take a lot of my time? who knows we shall find out!
The other night we stayed in Thompson Boling Arena! It was an experience to say the least lol. It really wasn't that fun...I mean I am glad I went but I will most definitely never do it again!! We got to tour the locker rooms and meet the players but really that is all that happened. Although I did make it to the knoxville newspaper! Here is the picture of it!
I look so attractive lol....Well I shall bring more updates later! Love you all!
Abz
I love my classes this semester! My english class is on Fairy Tales!! How awesome is that! Our major book is confessions of an ugly stepsister! It will most definitely be my favorite class! I am also taking psychology and the teacher is really cool and nice. Then I have bio 102 and Geography hopefully! Not to bad of a semester I started out with 14 hours and hopefully I am going to end up with 18...wow I know big leap lol. BUT I can't take only have 2 classes a day! I feel like such an under achiever. Yet, it took me forever to find the geography class which I am not technically in yet, crossing my fingers! I was thinking maybe I don't have a lot of hours for a reason? Maybe I will have something important happen this semester that will take a lot of my time? who knows we shall find out!
The other night we stayed in Thompson Boling Arena! It was an experience to say the least lol. It really wasn't that fun...I mean I am glad I went but I will most definitely never do it again!! We got to tour the locker rooms and meet the players but really that is all that happened. Although I did make it to the knoxville newspaper! Here is the picture of it!
Abz
Monday, January 10, 2011
Back To School Go The Boys and Girls
Back to knoxvegas!!
So my last week at home I spent playing mom! The most spoiling thing ever!! AHH its making me miss home even more! Christmas break is really far to long, never thought I'd say that, I got waaaay to use to be at home! But all I gotta say after playing mom is everybody go thank your mom lol! It's funny the things you realize after you go through the same experience. I wish we weren't so self centered and could learn those things before we went through it. I was talking with one of my oldest friends and we were laughing about how everything now makes sense with what your mom does after you play mom. She said for example that when she got to play mom for a while she got all excited when her sister was coming home for school and couldn't wait to have someone in the house to talk to! Yet, when she walked in the door she didn't want to talk after school. My friend and I laughed about how easy it was for her to get mad about that. Then we talked about how bad we felt for so many things we must have done to our moms and how we under appreciate them! So thanks mommy for everything you doo! Hah I haven't even had my own kids yet makes me nervous for how much stuff I'm going to realize that I did that hurt my mom! So sorry in advanced mom, I promise to try harder!! I love you!
IT IS A WINTER WONDERLAND!! Ugh No one I know is awake and I feel like a little kid on Christmas morning who is locked away in their bedroom and can't come down for another hour or so! I just want to scream THERE IS SNOWW!!! WAKE UP!!! but I am refraining...not sure how much longer that will last though! ahhh I can't wait to go play in it!!
This is going to be me!
And I am making one of these
And these!
So my last week at home I spent playing mom! The most spoiling thing ever!! AHH its making me miss home even more! Christmas break is really far to long, never thought I'd say that, I got waaaay to use to be at home! But all I gotta say after playing mom is everybody go thank your mom lol! It's funny the things you realize after you go through the same experience. I wish we weren't so self centered and could learn those things before we went through it. I was talking with one of my oldest friends and we were laughing about how everything now makes sense with what your mom does after you play mom. She said for example that when she got to play mom for a while she got all excited when her sister was coming home for school and couldn't wait to have someone in the house to talk to! Yet, when she walked in the door she didn't want to talk after school. My friend and I laughed about how easy it was for her to get mad about that. Then we talked about how bad we felt for so many things we must have done to our moms and how we under appreciate them! So thanks mommy for everything you doo! Hah I haven't even had my own kids yet makes me nervous for how much stuff I'm going to realize that I did that hurt my mom! So sorry in advanced mom, I promise to try harder!! I love you!
IT IS A WINTER WONDERLAND!! Ugh No one I know is awake and I feel like a little kid on Christmas morning who is locked away in their bedroom and can't come down for another hour or so! I just want to scream THERE IS SNOWW!!! WAKE UP!!! but I am refraining...not sure how much longer that will last though! ahhh I can't wait to go play in it!!
This is going to be me!
Enjoy your snow too Memphis!
xoxo
Saturday, January 1, 2011
"Love is not blind; it simply enables one to see things others fail to see"
Christmas was wonderful! It is most definitely my favorite holiday! Reasons for this are:
1. Christmas lights are everywhere!!! I love them.
2. It's sometimes chilly so you get to bundle up, drink hot chocolate, and visit around the warm house!
3. Christmas eve is amazing!
4. Christmas Carols.
5. At least 2 weeks off to spend the whole time with your family!!
Oh yes! I do love Christmas! Probably because I have the bestest family to spend it with though! I hope you all have had a wonderful Christmas and new years!
I have been reading and watching the best stuff!!!! I love break lol I have time to do nothing and not feel guilty about it! First I watched the Swan Princess the other day with my little brother and little sister! I had forgotten how much I love that movie! It is now my favorite Princess movie. I love it cause there is a defined bold chase. And unlike many of the stories of this century it was the boy doing the chasing! It rekindled my girlish dreams of prince charming! Derek is searching for Odette from the day she goes missing! He doesn't give up even though every once else does. He doesn't stop looking for her and fall for another one of the many girls his mother is constantly pushing at him. Everyone is pretty much against him looking for her and telling him to give up! YET HE DOESN'T STOP! I know I am such a girl but I love it. I think that is something every girl wishes for. In fact, I think everyone wishes for at least one person who will constantly seek after them no matter what happens! I think the story also reflects how much Christ has constantly searched after me! He never gave up. No matter how many people diminished him to me or how many times I tried to hide from him he came after me still the same! It's amazing his love. He is my prince charming. He is the only person who can be my prince charming. Any human is going to fall short but He never will. He sees everything that I am and he still loves me. I don't know why but I always try and diminish his love because I claim it isn't "physical" and I can't touch it. silly me of course it isn't physical cause it never can be! I hope you all realize his abundant love for you. 
One of my beloved authors is Francine Rivers! She is amazing! Her books have really changed my life. I don't know what it is but reading her books and seeing how her characters grow in their faith really encourages my own growth. Her Mark of the Lion series really changed the way I viewed prayer. She portrayed the personal aspect of prayer that really stuck with me and I really grew because of it! I just finished reading her new series Marta's Legacy! OH friends it was amazing!! I cannot lie I cried a lot as I always do in her books and I really wanted to quit reading at one point. In the middle of the second book I really wanted to give up on humanity and was soo depressed about how much we get wrong in our relationships. How so many times we think something is one way when in reality it is the opposite. But there was a redemptive ending! Ahh these books really encouraged me to follow my dreams and make goals and also to study my Bible a lot more than I do. It also had many chases! It was really cool to see how the girls in the book weren't obsessed with finding a husband and how God brought the right ones into their lives. I know it is a fiction book but it was just a nice reminder to sit back and let God work. For reals, this girls did nothing and then bam when they weren't expecting it the perfect person came along and actively persistently pursued them! I encourage you If you haven't read these books read them right away!! If you are anything like me you will fall in love and not be the same person you were after you read them!Well look at the time! I told myself I was going to bed early tonight oops!
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